God commercials
by mattsudoku
Summary: what would the gods do to get you to listen to them? funny commercials like the ipollo,zues's zit zapper and many more. Reveiw.... will take sugetions... If I get 7 reveiws I will update
1. Chapter 1

**Sighn up sheet**

**THIS IS A advertisment FOR THE TITANS ARMY**

Kronus: Do you want a new world order

luke disgised as a normal person: Ya i'm sick of these people not helping any of us

Kronus: so do you want to join the tiatans

luke disgised as a normal person: Whats that!!

Kronus:T itans

I nvolve

T odays

A ctions

N eutrally

luke disgised as a normal person: cool how do I sign up

Kronus: just call 1800-tarturus for a free training videio to become a titan

luke disgised as a normal person: remember 1800-tarturus

Kronus: if you join now we will give you a free jail cell thats right 100 **FREE, **so ask your doctor if the titans are right

luke disgised as a normal person: soon we will rule the world

Kronus: Luke were still on

luke disgised as a normal person: ohhhh aaaaaa CUT

hope you liked it on your reveiews pick if you want me to make more commercials


	2. Chapter 2 ipollo and zues zit zaper

**God commercials**

**I pollo**

**Hope you like my new commercial . i have a lot but if i don't get enough reveiws i won't update as fast**

apollo: Hey do you have an i pod

random teen: yeah

apollo: throw it away thats right throw it away because of the new ipollo it has every song known to man

random teen: cool how much does it cost

apollo: only 1 dracma

random teen: 1 draca!!

apollo: thats right only 100,000,000 payments on 1 dracma

random teen: how do i buy it

apollo: easy just call 1800-wehateipods

random tv person: our company isn't in charge of any injuries,pain,or sudden combustion due to this product.Side effects include tempory defness brain tombers and the sudden urge to eat human flesh

random teen: remember 1800-wehateipods

**I thought this was too short so i am going to put in 1 more**

**Zues's zit zapper where we zap your zits to 0**

Narriator: you might have thought ares, helen of troy and aphrodite where always so buetiful well your wrong it all started one day at lunch...

ares: Why do i have so many zits

aprodite: how can I be the god of love and beuty if i'm not beutiful

helen: I'v tried everything

zues: hello UGLY ones

everybody: hello zues

zues: i have invented something to get rid of all your zits let me take you to the lab

**IN THE LAB**

Helen: what is that (points to a pile of ashes)

zues: ohh my last costumer didn't turn out to good, well whose first

Ares: i'll get it over with

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

Ares: I'm beutiful

Zues: next

aphrodite: Come on zues make me buetiful

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

aphrodite: It worked I'm alive

Zues: helen

helen: Now I know why i am so important

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

everybody exept helen : where'd helen go

zues: well 2 out of 3 is pretty good right

everybody: okay

zues: to use this product call 1800-halfblood

everybody:bye

**Well hope you liked it. If you will reveiw i will write**


	3. Chapter 3 wife away and underworld worl

God comercials

**Hope you like it**

**under world world**

Hades: I bet when you die you think it is dull and gloomy

nico: well it's not because when you die you go to a amusment park 10 times bigger then universal

Hades: we have rides like _it's a dead world after all_ and the un-haunted mansion

nico: and my personal favrite the SULK

hades: to reserve a place in underworld world call 188-castaway

nico: thats 188-castaway

Both people: So call today

random talk person: our company is not in charge of injuries due to our ride if you die we give you a refund

side effects may include drowsness suicide and sudden combustion.

nico: so tell your doctor your time has come

**I think i am going to do 2 each time now**

**Hera"s wife away**

Hera: is your husband cheating on you

europa,io,lead: ah ha

hera: well not anymore because i have the new wife away one spray the wife's away let me show you some examples with my husband

Io: oh zues no matter what you turn me into I will always love you

zues: how bout i turn you into a cow so hera won't see you (poof) (io is now a cow)

hera: (sprays wife away)

Io: why did you turn me into a cow you freak i never want to see you again

zues: no io wait

Io: talk to the hoof

Hera: lets tune into europa

Europa: (Riding on zues) ohh zues this is so romantic

hera: (sprays wife away)

Europa: No zues your going the wrong way I said north not south. why did i ever date that loser

Hera: let's do one more to see the conclusion of this product

Leda: Oh zues your so romantic

zues: i know (winks to another girl)

hera: (spray wife away)

Leda falls off chair from spray

Leda: why did you push me off (steps on foot and stomps away)

zues: no wait i didn't

zues: Hera what are you doing here and why are my wives disapering

hera: to buy our product which is 19.99 call 188-hera bye

zues: hera come back here...

baby come back you can blame it all on her (points to hera)

everybody: buy today

**Hope you liked it reveiw and i will write**


	4. Chapter 4 sugestions

god commerical

i can't think what to do now so go to my poll and vote top 2 will be in my next chapt


	5. Chapter 5poll results

**Hello I'm sorry for forgetting about this story. well here are our winners**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PJO or greek mythology  
**

Kronus Half blood daycare

Kronus: Are you bored of staying at camp

Luke disgised as a camper: Yeah

kronus: So come to kronus half blood day camp for FREE

Luke disgised as a camper: But how do i sign up

kronus: Just fight againest the gods

Luke disgised as a camper: Really only that Wow what a bargain

Kronus: If you call now we will give you a free torture booth.

LUKE AND KRONUS: we will rule the world WAAAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAA

camra man: were still on

Everybody: call today

**aphrodite and eros marrige conciling**

aphrodite: Are you having marrige problems

Random adult: Yeah

eros: well for 30000000000000 dracmas we will fix it

Random adult: but how

aphrodite and eros: with our godly magic anything is possible

SO CALL TODAY

I know it is short but give me a break i am a horrible writer :(

R&R


	6. Chapter 6 I got a awesom pm

god comercials

PM SUGESTIONS

**I got this in a PM so here it is**

ARES WAR TODAY

Ares: are you tired of peace?

Clarisse: yeah!

Ares: well if you are, then try our new War today dust! Just sprinkle it on a

random person and they will immediately start a war! lets try it out.

(sprinkles it on a random person)

Clarrise: hey look! he just started world war three!

ares and clarrise: Yay!

(Zeus comes over)

Zeus: hey! i told you guys no more commercials!

Ares: but dad!

Zeus: thats it ares go to your room!

Ares: aw man!

Clarisse: uh guys, the cameras still on.

Ares: oh, um, uh... remember call 1-800-startawar!

ares, clarisse, and zeus: remember to start a war today!

**Hope you like it. This is from Creamsoda92. I give all the credit in this chap to CREAMSODA92**

**Sorry if I don't update in the next week. Turkey day**

**If you send sugestions I will post and give you ALL the credit**

**REVEIW**


	7. Chapter 7 Helios sun block

God comercials

Helios sun block

**Ok first I just thought of this and I was reading my you Creamsoda92, Percybeth777,gottaluvpjo,****olypianchef213,The minotar, Thailia-luke, Greekgeek55,and many more. For your wonderful reveiws. But 2 reveiws critisized me and that got my attenion plese tell me why you said that... because the people who said that didn't write any PJO them selves. This is my last chapter till next week.**

Helios: hello, Do you ever get sunburned

apollo wereing a mustace: yeah all the time

helios: Well not anymore with the new sun block

apollo wereing a mustace: But I already use sun block and I still get burned

Helios: Well not anymore This is magical

apollo wereing a mustace: Cool how do I buy it

helios: Just send us a check for 1,000,000$ to NY,impier state building 600th floor.

Everybody: call today

(comercials over)

Helios: sukers they don't know that our sun block is really gun powder

apollo wereing a mustace: Were not done yet.

Helios: This is awkward

apollo wereing a mustace: BUY TODAY

**Hope you liked it. I know it was short but I need a lot more suggestions**


	8. Chapter 8,,,,,, Hephestus junk yard

**I got another pm on a comercial so here it is**

Hephaestus's Junk Yard

Hephaestus- Hello everyone

Random Tween- Hi. What'cha want?

Hephaestus-I want to show you this amazing Junk.

Shamy wow dude-Wow how do ya get it?

Hephaestus- You go to Arizona in the middle of the desert with your demi-god

glasses and look for a giant mound of Junk .

Shamy wow dude-How much is it?

Hephaestus- Ummm Uhhh LINE!!!!!!

Director- 4 payments of 3000000000 drachmas.

Shamy dude- Yeah what he said.

Everyone- So buy today!!!!

Hephastus- I'm glad that's over.

Shamy dude- Me too.

Hephaestus-*blushes then destroys camera*

**Hope you liked it....**

**all credit goes to Snb793**

**reveiw also pm me and it will go up in a few hours or less**

**happy turkey day**


	9. Chapter 9 Sorry

**First let me say I am sorry to all my fans I kept up. I've been busy and my computer was broken for some time.**

Grover's Tin cans

"Have you ever been to hungry to cook" Grover said

"Yes" Juniper said wearing a mustace

"Well wait no longer for the new Tin can" Grover said

"Grover that's a coke can" Camera guy points out

"Shhhh were making 20 cents a can" Grover said.

"We are still rolling" The camera guy points out.

"Wait" Zeus said as he blasted the camera guy

"I love Grover's tin cans" Zeus said

"Wait if you buy now we'll raise the price to 50 cents a bottle" Grover announced

"Just call 1800-tincans and ask for Zeus" Juniper said

"Buy today" said a withered camera guy

**Hope you liked it. Wait there's more.**

Pegasus rides

"Well "stranger" have you ever wanted to fly on a Pegasus" Percy asked Silena

"Well duh but there always to expensive" Silena said

"What if I told you that we were giving these rides for only fifty dollars?" Percy asked Silena

*Silena faints*

"Yes that's right just go to Delphi strawberry company and bring cash" Percy said

"We also do parties and weddings" said Hades

"Just call 1800-BLACKJACK" Percy finished

"And weigh less than 180 pounds" Blackjack whinned.

**Hope you liked it. And again sorry for the wait**

**Reveiw**


	10. Chapter 10 Apollo laptop

**Thank you my wonderful fans who encouraged me to write one more commercial today called Apollo laptop. I give the credit to ****ej8012 for the idea enjoy**

"Do like music" Apollo asked

"Yeah" Said an angry Ares

"Do you like surfing the web" Apollo continued

"Yes" Ares answered pitifully

"If you liked The Ipollo you will love this" Apollo continued.

"The Apollo laptop provides all the music you need and super fast internet connection" Apollo bragged

"What if I can't afford this invention" Ares asked

"Don't be silly it only costs One billion Drachma" Apollo answered

"Only that much, What's the catch" Ares asked

"Don't sue us" Apollo said

"Just call 1800-olympus" Apollo finished.

"And Cut" Said the director.

"Wow those suckers won't even notice were just sending them an apple laptop with music" Apollo said

"How do you turn the camera off" Said the cameraman

"UH OH" Ares said

**Sorry it's short but enjoy. Hope you liked it remembered the idea is from ej8012. Reveiw**


	11. Chapter 11 Eros cream

**Okay first let me say I love the ideas give in to me. Like this next one by Annapercy1. Enjoy**

Eros: do you like someone?

Annabeth: yeah!

Eros: does he never catch your hints?

Annabeth: yeah!

Eros: then watch this

Eros sprinkles dust on an unsuspecting Percy.

Percy: Wow Annabeth you look great! Will you go out with me?

Annabeth: Aw Percy yes I thought you would never ask!

all: so call 1-800-INSTALUV today and make your dream guy/girl love you  
today!

And cut (Really the camera stopped this time)

Camera guy: Wow one of these commercials that the product really works

Annabeth and Percy walk out on their date.

Camera guy: I have an idea why don't we follow Annabeth and Percy on their date?

**Wahaha. Hope you liked it. Give all the credit to annapercy1 (Exept after the camera rolled that was me) Also now I will have a completely fanmade chapter. Send in a funny story about percy and Annabeth's date and I'll put it on. Let the best thing win.**


	12. Chapter 12 Eros cream Part 2

**This is the winning percabeth story with my own twist.** Snb793 made most of it.

Annabeth POV

"Oh my Gods, You look really, amazingly hot today! Wow!!" Percy exclaimed. He  
just kept staring at me and I was really getting creped out.

"Uh... Seaweed Brain, can I please have maybe a little personal space?" I  
squeaked. He was gradually nearing me. Closer and closer.

"Don't be silly, Annabeth! We are on a date,"Percy reminded me. I could  
literally see the little artificial hearts circling around his head. "We should  
at least look like it!"

"Yeah..." I muttered, wondering if I should have signed that contract. "How  
about we go to, uh, Streamers? I heard from my friend Sarah, that they have  
the best ice cream..."

Sure, we had been going out for the last few weeks, but this was insanity. I  
mumbled something about reading the contract next time...

"What was that??" He asked defensively. Maybe this stuff really didn't  
work... Or even too well.

"Nothing, nothing. Come on!"

*

"I'll have the bacon cheeseburger" I told the waitress. "And a glass of water  
to drink."

"Sure. And you sir?" She asked with a Texan accent.

"I'll have the same as her", he said dreamily. Oh my gods, if those camera  
guys were in here I would kill them. I did have the feeling someone was  
watching me...

I spun quickly, only to find a little two year old staring at me. Jeez, I  
getting paranoid. Percy smiling at my all night, with that disgusting grin  
plaster on his face.

I looked up for a breath of air, and there was one of those microphone you  
hang over people when you're filming something. Oh no they didn't!

I almost, literally, growled. "What the heck man! Why are you following us?"  
I screeched. I heard a cuss from behind a booth, and I let out a cuss of my  
own.

"What are you doing here?" I said in word much less polite than that.

"What is it Annabeth?" Percy asked. My gods! Did that instaluv love make him  
extra stupid?!?!

"Nothing Percy..." I said.

"Annabel... Um we really didn't mean any harm. Just this new reality  
show..."

"Yeah. Like I'm going to believe that", I told them. "How do you fix it? Like  
make him normal" Oh Aphrodite please help me... I know my mom strongly  
disagrees with many of her method, I desperately need her help...

Percy was being rally creepy right now.

A sharp piercing laugh filled the room as Aphrodite and Eros came out from behind a booth.

"Was this all a set up for a REALITY SHOW!?!" Annabeth said annoyed.

"Yes dear" Aphrodite said. "We have enough footage for two whole seasons" Eros joined in.

"How do I get him back to normal" Annabeth said weirdly polite.

"Say please" Aphrodite said.

Annabeth stood up accidently knocking over Percy's glass all over his lap.

Percy shook and blinked then asked "Where am I"

"Ha, I don't need your help" Annabeth mocked.

Just then Aphrodite said "Then I curse the God Commercial story"

"Uh OH" Percy said.

**Hope you liked it.**


	13. Chapter 13 tone deaf

God commercials

THE TONE DEAF!

Grover falling asleep in class…

Teacher: well today class we will learn the hypotnus of the rebencular surface area by the amount of quasars in the…

Percy: have you ever wanted to tone her out?

Grover: YEAH! (Phony smile)

Percy: then try the new tone deaf! It destroys sound right before your ear!

Grover puts on tone deaf and immediately teachers voice doesn't fill the air… teachers face turns red with anger as she waves arms at Grover.

Grover: yeah it really works

Teacher hands Grover a detention slip

Percy: ANY QUESTIONS CALL 911 and ask for chief Hades and tell him "im not guilty"

Grover: side effects include DEATH!

Percy: buy today!

_Message to readers… I know this is a surprise I haven't updated In a year soooo ive been busy with getting two puppies studying for school getting in as many awkward silences as possible… check out my twitter account though for funny one liners mattswrite I plan on updating as long as I hear from the readers… thank you_

_mattsudoku_


	14. Last chapter

God comercials

Hey guys..

I appreciate all the love from this and all but I have to say I've forgotten about all this a while ago and I'm flattered that I keep getting emails about how funny these were and it means a lot, I got to say I grew up and I'm on to the next thing, you can like my music page on Facebook redinkproductions I produce and write for rappers/musicians just incase your interested in my next endeavor...

spread the love


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